Brazen at the Brazen Head

IMG_2981There should be a rule, when you’re rude and shitty to a server for a situation that you created, the server should have the right to dump your plate of leftovers over your head, or kick you in the balls depending on your and their gender.

Today at the Brazen Head Pub, I saw this situation unfold in front of me that I just had to share.  An older couple and their daughter was sitting right next to me.  I thought how nice, some parents catching their daughter for lunch while she was in the middle of her workday.  Given the nature of the lunch rush and that it’s a sunny day here in Toronto, the patios are packed and the servers are all jumping, it’s called a lunch rush for a reason.  In this case the waitress that was assigned to my table was also assigned to the table next to me.  She was as nice as she could be given the couple’s reaction to having to wait a few extra minutes for their food.  I should note here that they never once during the ordering process mention that they were under a time crunch.

Now I’ve ordered and my cocktail has been rushed out to me, not a hard one but fast service nonetheless.  It doesn’t hurt that I don’t bitch and moan when I order and I’m polite (my parents taught me well).  Moving on though, it’s obvious now that the couple and daughter next to me is starting to get agitated and are glancing around the room in a hurried and manic manner.  They flag down the manager, who comes right over and they start complaining about how their food hasn’t come out yet and they’ve been kept waiting and so on and so forth.  At this point they’ve been waiting as long as it’s taken for the bartender to make a vodka soda for me, so maybe 2 minutes given the lunch rush.  Then they start complaining that their daughter has to get back to work and didn’t the server know that she only had thirty minutes for lunch.  Of course the wait staff at the Brazen knows every patrons schedule…  The father then goes up and tells the manager he needs to get his daughters lunch boxed to go and rushed!  We’ve now been waiting about ten minutes for the food that we both ordered at the same time to arrive.

I’m now on my second cocktail, and watching some excellent lunch entertainment unfold.  Now the daughter has left to get back to her job, and 20 minutes has elapsed.  While the father was walking his daughter back to her job, because he loves her, their food finally arrives.  The server notices that the man has left and asks the wife if she would like the kitchen to take it back to keep it warm, the wife refused.  So now when the man gets back to eat he starts complaining to his wife that his food is cold.  He then proceeds to eat at least three quarters of the burger and all the fries, cold or not.

Now I’m on my third cocktail and this is how the end of the story goes.  The wife has to ooze out of the booth (she’s a big girl) and waddles to the bathroom.  I’m no delicate flower so I don’t like to judge people on their weight, but I swear to god she was waddling.  The man now grabs the attention of our server and a start complaining about the food, how it was inedible and how it was dry and the cheese was cold, etc.  Basically all the things that would happen if food was left on a table for 10 minutes while his wife chowed down on her piping hot food.  Now, I forgot to mention that the manager has already taken the cost of his burger and his daughter’s meal off the bill because he was complaining about the speed in which the food was coming out.  So now he’s taking it to another level by going after his waitress.

Now the couple from hell has left and the server is staring at the tables they occupied and asked out loud “what the hell just happened?”  I’m not one to keep my mouth shut ever, and I happily explain the situation to her, that the couple from hell manufactured her fail by their own actions and they needed to take it out on someone other than each other so they lashed out at the server.  At this point I just say it’s not her fault and remind her that no matter how nasty they were to her, they have to live with each other.  At which the waitress who now has a smile on her face wanders off with that thought in her head.

My reward for being a calm, polite customer, a free double vodka soda.  I don’t need free things to remind me how to behave in public, but it seems that some people need to be reminded of how to politely disagree and just be decent.  There’s always going to be issues with food, no matter how good the chef.  If you don’t like something, mention it in a constructive way.  And remember that you don’t fuck with people who handle your food.

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